Teaching your children to read is an incredible experience. It is also incredibly frustrating. If your kids like the Raptors, this might be a fun exercise. And if you want to save your sanity, it might be a necessary one.
So, rather than bang your head against the wall, we present to you: the ABC’s of the YYZ!
A is for Assists with Kyle leading the league. Only behind Westbrook, not John Wall or Jeff Teague.
B is for Boston, the worst of the worst. Who sit as close to ninth place as they do to first.
C is for Casey, Toronto’s beloved ex-coach. Fired after last season, for a different approach.
D is for Detroit, dunks, and DeMar. The slam over Anthony Tolliver heard from afar.
E is for End of regulation, a worrying phrase. That makes five or 10 minutes, feel like five or ten days.
F is for Freddy, who was left on a shelf. Undrafted, a reminder, to “Bet On Yourself.”
G is for “Get that gahbage outta here!” a phrase bellowed by TV’s Jack, coming after blocks by Ibaka, JV, or Bismack.
H is for “How Hungry Are You?” Where letter “I” makes teammates eat bugs, and brains, too!
I for Ibaka, MaFuzzy Chef, Avec Classe. He can shoot from the elbow, he can dunk on your ass.
J is for Jump ball, and for Jonas too. A jump ball against Jonas, would be extremely painful... for you.
K is for Kawhi Leonard. He’s a Toronto Raptor. He might not be for long, but we’ll worry about that after.
Toronto has reached agreement in principle to acquire San Antonio's Kawhi Leonard for package that includes DeMar DeRozan, league sources tell ESPN. Trade is larger on both sides, and players are still being informed of their inclusion in the deal. Trade call with league today.— Adrian Wojnarowski (@wojespn) July 18, 2018
L is for Lowry, who’s my MVP, providing play-making on offense, taking charges on D.
Ahead of tonight's @Raptors action on ESPN, we showcase Kyle Lowry taking charges!— NBA (@NBA) January 16, 2019
: #WeTheNorth x #CUsRise
⏰: 8:00pm/et : ESPN pic.twitter.com/Y9X898NUPs
M for Masai, Raptors President. Fleecing the Spurs and the Knicks, this man’s heaven sent.
N is for Nick Nurse and New Balance shoes. When they let go of Casey, it was Nurse they would choose.
O is for Open Gym, the Raptors’ own show. It follows the team, and watches them grow.
P is for Pascal, P Skills, Spicy P. Exceeding expectations, in only year three.
Q is for Quirky, best assigned to OG. His short shorts may raise eyebrows, but he makes us happy.
R is for Raptors, the reason you’re here! Who only get better, year after year!
S is for Signature spicy spin move, with a Player Efficiency Rating of 15.2!
T is for T-Ross, who we miss every day. Can he come back to Toronto? Can we find a way?
Terrence Ross dunking against the Raptors pic.twitter.com/saMU1eYNUx— Raptors HQ (@RaptorsHQ) November 21, 2018
U is for “Understanding the Grind.” We knew Norm would be back, he just needed time.
V for Vince Carter, who put T.Dot on the map. Though his legacy tarnished, by an immature mishap.
W is for Winning a championship. We’ve come far too close now, to just let it slip.
X is for X-factor, Toronto found it in Skills. Playing alongside Leonard and Lowry, those are big shoes to fill!
Y is for YOU! The best fans in the game! Sporting jerseys and jammies, with your star players’ name.
Z is for Zebras, a.k.a. referees. Why do you hate Raptors? Can we get some calls, please?