Culture Watch: The Raptor ABC’s of the YYZ

Teaching your children to read is an incredible experience. It is also incredibly frustrating. If your kids like the Raptors, this might be a fun exercise. And if you want to save your sanity, it might be a necessary one.

So, rather than bang your head against the wall, we present to you: the ABC’s of the YYZ!

A is for Assists with Kyle leading the league. Only behind Westbrook, not John Wall or Jeff Teague.

B is for Boston, the worst of the worst. Who sit as close to ninth place as they do to first.

C is for Casey, Toronto’s beloved ex-coach. Fired after last season, for a different approach.

John E. Sokolowski-USA TODAY Sports

D is for Detroit, dunks, and DeMar. The slam over Anthony Tolliver heard from afar.

E is for End of regulation, a worrying phrase. That makes five or 10 minutes, feel like five or ten days.

F is for Freddy, who was left on a shelf. Undrafted, a reminder, to “Bet On Yourself.”

Photo by Kevin C. Cox/Getty Images

G is for “Get that gahbage outta here!” a phrase bellowed by TV’s Jack, coming after blocks by Ibaka, JV, or Bismack.

H is for “How Hungry Are You?” Where letter “I” makes teammates eat bugs, and brains, too!

I for Ibaka, MaFuzzy Chef, Avec Classe. He can shoot from the elbow, he can dunk on your ass.

J is for Jump ball, and for Jonas too. A jump ball against Jonas, would be extremely painful... for you.

K is for Kawhi Leonard. He’s a Toronto Raptor. He might not be for long, but we’ll worry about that after.

L is for Lowry, who’s my MVP, providing play-making on offense, taking charges on D.

M for Masai, Raptors President. Fleecing the Spurs and the Knicks, this man’s heaven sent.

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N is for Nick Nurse and New Balance shoes. When they let go of Casey, it was Nurse they would choose.

O is for Open Gym, the Raptors’ own show. It follows the team, and watches them grow.

P is for Pascal, P Skills, Spicy P. Exceeding expectations, in only year three.

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Q is for Quirky, best assigned to OG. His short shorts may raise eyebrows, but he makes us happy.

Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images

R is for Raptors, the reason you’re here! Who only get better, year after year!

S is for Signature spicy spin move, with a Player Efficiency Rating of 15.2!

T is for T-Ross, who we miss every day. Can he come back to Toronto? Can we find a way?

U is for “Understanding the Grind.” We knew Norm would be back, he just needed time.

V for Vince Carter, who put T.Dot on the map. Though his legacy tarnished, by an immature mishap.

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W is for Winning a championship. We’ve come far too close now, to just let it slip.

X is for X-factor, Toronto found it in Skills. Playing alongside Leonard and Lowry, those are big shoes to fill!

Y is for YOU! The best fans in the game! Sporting jerseys and jammies, with your star players’ name.

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Z is for Zebras, a.k.a. referees. Why do you hate Raptors? Can we get some calls, please?