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Most Unpopular Raptor of All Time Bracket: 2nd Big Men Region

Get a nice hot bowl of Primo pasta and sauce ready for this region.

Toronto Raptors v New York Knicks

Want to get the taste of the Raptors’ awful second half from last night out of your mouth? Look no further then 2nd Big Men Region of the Most Unpopular Raptor of All-Time Bracket, which we bring you right here.

We’ve got the Vegas favourite for the title headlining this region — you already know his name. But as we all know, upset threats lie ahead.

And a reminder: there’s still time to vote in our Wings region from last Monday. And, just for review, have a look at the 1st Big Men Region here. What a scene.

Now, let’s get to it.

@JHennyTweets on Twitter

#1 Andrea Bargnani vs. #8 Hakeem Olajuwon

Miami Heat v Toronto Raptors Photo by Claus Andersen/Getty Images

Where should we even start?

Bargnani was the “prize” that the franchise and the fan base were rewarded with when they made their first and only selection as the #1 team in the draft. Admittedly, 2006 was a very weak draft, but Bryan Colangelo selected the Italian Stallion over the likes of LaMarcus Aldridge, Brandon Roy, Rudy Gay, and even Rajon Rondo and Kyle Lowry (Paul Millsap went 47th, but nobody expected him to become an All-Star).

The counting stats for Bargs’ Raptor career aren’t terrible, but are a far cry from production you’d expect from a #1 pick. Over 433 career games with the team, he averaged 15.3 PPG on 43.7% from the field, and a pitiful 4.8 rebounds per game even though he was seven feet tall.

Why “Il Mago” gets Raptors fans still heated to this day, was a little something I like to call Jay Cutler syndrome. Having a blank facial expression of aloofness at seemingly all times gives off the impression you don’t care about a single, flippin’ thing going on in the game. You could always count on the broadcast cutting to a benched Bargs with a blank stare into space across his face. It was infuriating.

He was the personification of ineptitude for the franchise for 7+ years, first as an underwhelming Bosh sidekick, and then as the team’s “star” that couldn’t perform close to the level they needed him to on both ends.

The only thing Raps fans can thank him for is scaring James Dolan away from ever dealing with Masai Ujiri again, and saving Kyle Lowry from becoming a Knick.

I need some pasta to cool down.

Hakeem Olajuwon stretches before the game

Full disclosure, I loved Hakeem as a Raptor, for the humour if nothing else. He finds himself as the 8-seed in this region because there is absolutely no fear of an upset against Andrea. Plus, uh, he was underwhelming as a Raptor.

After spending his entire basketball career in the city of Houston, first as a Cougar and then as the face of the Rockets, Olajuwon was traded to the Raptors in the summer of 2001 for picks that became Bostjan Nachbar, Tito Maddox and a trade exception. No great loss there.

In 61 games as a Rap, Olajuwon averaged 7 and 6 before retiring after the 01-02 season as his body continued breaking down. There’s just something about all of this that reads as sad.

Poll

Who was more unpopular?

This poll is closed

  • 91%
    Andrea Bargnani
    (523 votes)
  • 8%
    Hakeem Olajuwon
    (48 votes)
571 votes total Vote Now

#2 Jermaine O’Neal vs. #7 Aaron Gray

Toronto Raptors v Boston Celtics Photo by Elsa/Getty Images

I should’ve listened to my mother way back in 2008 when she suggested Jermaine O’Neal might not be in town too long. Man, she could not have been more right in her assumption.

I’m not sure I can do the Jermaine O’Neal half-season justice, so whichever artist wrote this Wikipedia blurb is to be commended:

It’s a real shame the Raps had to give up T.J. Ford, Rasho Nesterovic and the pick that became one-time all-star and verticality god Roy Hibbert for a half-season of O’Neal.

Toronto Raptors v New York Knicks Photo by Chris Chambers/Getty Images

[extreme Stephen A. Smith voice] Nothing personal against Aaron Gray, who is a close personal friend, and a quality and insightful quote for the media... BUT THIS MAN STARTED 56 GAMES BETWEEN 2011 and 2013, AND ONLY AVERAGED 3.3 POINTS AND 4.4 REBOUNDS PER GAME.

That being said, here’s a career defining highlight:

Poll

Who was more unpopular?

This poll is closed

  • 66%
    Jermaine O’Neal
    (316 votes)
  • 33%
    Aaron Gray
    (157 votes)
473 votes total Vote Now

#3 Kris Humphries vs. #6 Anthony Bennett

Toronto Raptors v Charlotte Bobcats Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images

The great Digital Underground once said, “The Humpty Dance is your chance to do the Hump”, and do the Hump the Raptors did, as Humphries was a rotation big for three seasons from 2006-2009. If we were grading this based on Raptor players who believed their ability to be far greater than it actually was, Hump would be pushing his way into the top five.

Over 159 games, Humphries averaged 4.6 points and 3.2 rebounds in an unremarkable on-court career. He would be completely forgotten if not for his marriage into (and prompt divorce from) the American royal family. This is why Humphries makes the list. Don’t question it.

Hump should also go down in the internet Hall of Fame however, since he’s the reason our lord and saviour Kanye West purchased a cell phone.

Toronto Raptors v Chicago Bulls Photo by Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images

It hurt me to put Anthony Bennett on this list, but I think at this point we can admit that he was just never cut out to be an NBA player.

The seeming lack of work ethic, the weight problems, and just the general lack of NBA-level talent caught up with AB. All you can do at this point is hope he carves out a nice career for himself in Europe. When the Brooklyn Nets, a hopeless team, can find no use for you, it’s time to head overseas.

Bennett scored a total of 28 points in 19 games as a Rap. That was sad to write.

Poll

Who was more unpopular?

This poll is closed

  • 44%
    Kris Humphries
    (174 votes)
  • 55%
    Anthony Bennett
    (213 votes)
387 votes total Vote Now

#4 Loren Woods vs. #5 Jerome Moiso

New York Knicks v Toronto Raptors Photo by Dave Sandford/Getty Images

THE MAN. THE MYTH. THE LEGEND. LOREN F’ING WOODS Y’ALL.

Over 72 games as a Rap, Woods recorded 34 starts and managed to average 3.3 points and 4.6 rebounds with his extremely wingspan-y frame on lankiness.

Jay Bilas must have loved him as a college prospect.

Toronto Raptors v Washington Wizards Photo by Doug Pensinger/Getty Images

Moiso scored 116 points and grabbed 113 rebounds over 43 games as a Raptor. All this, after being signed by Rob Babcock (LOL) due to the time Moiso recorded a double-double against Toronto the previous season with New Orleans. Read that sentence again and get mad.

There’s two great stories about Moiso as a Rap, as told by Eric Koreen and Bruce Arthur on the Lowe Post podcast back in December, tune to the 1:07:30 mark if you want a good chuckle:

Poll

Who was more unpopular?

This poll is closed

  • 44%
    Loren Woods
    (91 votes)
  • 55%
    Jerome Moiso
    (113 votes)
204 votes total Vote Now

And that’s a wrap on the opening round in our quest to find the most unpopular Raptor of All-Time.

Get your votes in before Friday morning! We’ll see you in the Salty Sixteen over the weekend.