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Kyle Lowry Injury Update: There’s an actual update!

Though we admit: it’s pretty thin.

NBA: New Orleans Pelicans at Toronto Raptors Kevin Sousa-USA TODAY Sports

Kyle Lowry, the Raptors’ most important player, has not been on the court for Toronto since February 15th in a game against the Charlotte Hornets. (He helped lead a comeback, but that has been lost to the sands of time by now.) After competing in the All-Star Weekend festivities, Lowry underwent surgery to remove “loose bodies” from his wrist. He was given a timetable of 4-6 weeks (or the rare 4-5 weeks, if you’re Dr. Woj).

Toronto has waited with bated breath for updates.

Today, we have one — sort of. Let’s get the story here:

Partial! (Wait, what does that mean?)

Fine, still no timetable.

Ah yes, some classic subterfuge. It’s fine. We’re fine.

A goal! This is what we needed to hear. I can feel the tension ebb from my body.

More direct language. Lowry will not play tomorrow. That’s OK, that’s fine. It’s only Indiana. (They stink.)

Let’s go ahead and put the champagne away for another couple of days. Still, Lowry has to be feeling good. Is Lowry, in fact, feeling good?

Is there anything else? Is Lowry worried about his long layoff perhaps?

So enigmatic. We’ve reached the final takeaways here:

And remember, when Kyle Lowry says he’s inactive, gotdamn, he means it:

We shall keep you all appraised of the situation as it happens. Many expected Lowry back at some point around now. There’s a chance he gets into the game on Wednesday against Detroit. Or, as is the most popular choice, he bombs away in the Raptors’ final home game of the season.

I’m already getting chills just thinking about it.