/cdn.vox-cdn.com/uploads/chorus_image/image/52587947/usa_today_9775341.0.jpeg)
Made this list in December:
the official fake deep list pic.twitter.com/eR9lZoIrXU
— alex (@steven_lebron) December 20, 2016
And then, the flood gates opened on the world essentially being a fake deep experiment that we all actively participate in with every single action we take:
@steven_lebron i'm drinking a vegan smoothie rn is that fake deep
— artisanal cracker (@internetlauren) December 20, 2016
this is fake deep porn https://t.co/qDThFSfNc4
— alex (@steven_lebron) December 27, 2016
are we #fakedeep here ? @steven_lebron https://t.co/fX8JQ0kF0S
— Andy Liu (@AndyKHLiu) December 27, 2016
Apologies to @steven_lebron, the bar my friend is having his 40th birthday in tonight is fake deep. I really wanted small cubes for my rye. pic.twitter.com/EOHEkNzyO4
— sarah sprague (@sarah_sprague) December 30, 2016
most fake deep thing i said in 2016: "i love that i don't want anyone else's life but mine"
— alex (@steven_lebron) December 31, 2016
DON'T BE FAKE DEEP AT MIDNIGHT ON FACEBOOK TONIGHT!!!!
— alex (@steven_lebron) December 31, 2016
@steven_lebron I just said "she taught me how to love" about my favorite singer growing up -- fake deep af
— tng (@thatnbagirl) January 2, 2017
@steven_lebron homie standing on the bus wearing his hornrimmed tortoise shell Warby Parkers and reading Klosterman #fakedeep
— Cuck Norris (@FraughtTakes) January 3, 2017
The OA is the most Fake Deep show I've ever seen. Shoutout to @steven_lebron for making it impossible for me to stop calling out Fake Deep
— Zubes (@the_Zubes) January 4, 2017
As the self-appointed prime minister of fake deep and as someone who has started to refer to himself as Fake Deepak Chopra, here is a brief evaluation of how fake deep the following statements about the Raptors are.
What’s the point of this Raptors team if they can’t get past the Cavs anyways?
I get a variation of this a lot when I talk to people about the Raptors, a futile belief that finishing second in the East and going to the Eastern Conference Finals 25 straight years and losing to LeBron James and the Cavs every season is demoralizing. I was riding that wave for a little bit too last year but now I’m like, it’s kind of fake deep to point out the ceiling of a team that’s pushed that ceiling up and to its limit (probably) over the last three-plus seasons, especially when we have not enjoyed any periods of sustained success like this in, well, actually, in franchise history. Enjoy the ride, everyone. Fake deep rating: 8/10.
If Masai Ujiri doesn’t make a move at the trade deadline he will have failed his players.
No one is thirsting for a trade deadline deal more than me (actually, let me check Raptors Reddit and the Real GM message boards) and the potential availability of Paul Millsap has everyone very excited. Also I am still secretly hoping to land DeMarcus Cousins because I am a dreamer but it appears the Sacramento Kings are in a “playoff race” in the West now. Exciting! Anyways, I’ve written about this so I won’t belabor the point, but Ujiri has to continue to weigh the present and future of this team in any deal, and while Millsap or any other player of that caliber represents a significant upgrade, he also has to find a move that makes sense for them money-wise going forward, as Lowry will hit free agency this summer as well. All of which is to say, if the Raptors don’t end up making a trade at the deadline, it will probably be for a very rational reason. Fake deep rating: 6/10.
Kyle Lowry is still being overlooked!
Some uproar in certain Twitter circles yesterday after John Wall was announced as Player of the Month over Kyle Lowry. The numbers are close. John Wall in December: 24.5 points, 10.7 assists, 2.7 steals, 49.1/30.4/81.4. Kyle Lowry in December: 24.4 points, 7.1 assists, 4.4 rebounds, 54.0/50.4/83.8 (yoooo these shooting numbers are crazy) and I think people are starting to really fully appreciate the depths of Lowry’s importance to the team especially after last year’s playoff run and seeing how Lowry continues to produce with the all-bench unit this season. And it still feels like he should be getting more love from everywhere which I think speaks to just how much he’s elevated his game this season. Lowry might always be a tad bit underrated, which is kind of what makes him great (this sentence is fake deep). Fake deep rating: 0/10.
Please everyone continue to direct all your fake deep observations to me on Twitter. I’m going to publish a coffee table book with the tweets.