The Weekly Rap, Jan. 16th-22nd: This is a Week of Basketball

The Raptors, a good basketball team, beat the Knicks, a bad (some might even say very bad) basketball team on Sunday.

They looked functional, and the Knicks looked very, very dysfunctional.

Also, BRUNO PLAYED...

Can you tell it’s the dog days of January for writers too? Onto this week’s game.

Jan. 17th @ Nets

After a surprisingly close first three quarters on Friday night, the Raps went on a three point barrage to blow away the Nets. They return to face Luis Scola and the young’ins in Brooklyn on Tuesday. I hope Randy Foye bursts out his first real six string on the bench if we get to garbage time.

Jan. 18th @ Sixers

On the back-to-back the Raps will head to Philly and take on the super fun Sixers and social media superstar Joel Embiid, who stayed winning on the web this week. He took it to the former Snapchat standout Hassan Whiteside after Whiteside took a veiled shot at him in the media:

He also went to toe to toe with my personal favourite porn star turned sports twitter person, Mia Khalifa.

I love Mia, but Miles of D is a first round knockout. Don’t @ me.

And for good measure, let me embed (Embiid) one more from the Processfather himself.

Jan. 20th @ Hornets

This could be competitive! The Raps always seem to drop games in Buzz City, as whenever I think about games in that arena, the lasting memory is Andrea Bargnani bricking mid-range jumpers against the absolutely awful 7-win team they fielded. We get Kyle vs. Kemba, and DeMar going to work against MKG, so it should be an entertaining affair.

Jan. 22nd vs. Suns

Raps have to avenge that dreadful scheduling loss they took in Phoenix. Hopefully Jakob can play more than five minutes without picking up five fouls.

I’ve got the Raps going 4-0 this week, do y’all agree?