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DeMarcus Cousins Is Not A Toronto Raptor...Yet?

This post is sponsored by imagination.

RVR Photos-USA TODAY Sports

Depending on how much time you spend browsing Facebook, you have surely come across a bunch of NBA headlines from sites you've never heard of that don't make sense. I didn't go a month without seeing an 'Allen Iverson signs one-year deal with the Cleveland Cavaliers' headline last season.

A site called US Sports Room published a post a few days ago with the tantalizing headline: Rudy Gay heading to Houston Rockets while DeMarcus Cousins joins Toronto Raptors. The article states "reports are rife that both players are heading to different teams and will be playing against each other." Specifically related to Cousins to Toronto, it's reported that "the team is determined to win another NBA title and to make this happen, they need to add a basketball superstar on their roster."


Okay, there's no credibility to the rumor, but let's just say I've been trying to will DeMarcus Cousins to Toronto for years now. Evidence:

I mean, it's hard not to imagine Cousins on another team, especially since the Kings franchise has basically been the equivalent of taking a Boomerang video of a bunch of Jenga pieces toppling over for awhile now, and the fact he's been reported in actually credible trade rumors in the past, and also we've had our snake in the grass emojis and Cousins having to backtrack a tweet he sent during the NBA draft by saying he was actually in a hot sculpting class.

Yearning for a dysfunctional team's superstar is nothing new, and hey, I just went on ESPN's trade machine and Cousins for Jonas Valanciunas, Cory Joseph and Norman Powell has the framework of a deal that works under the cap (we'll take Darren Collison in exchange, sure why not. Let's throw in some picks too. Masai, get on the phone, work out a three-way deal if the Kings want more).

All of this is probably not going to happen, but hey, I'm going to keep at it and when it becomes reality I will re-share this blog post at every website, including the ones with the hoax reports.

PS. I heard DeMar DeRozan and Kyle Lowry got along really well with Cousins at the Rio Olympics. Please source me if you quote this, sites.