What is sports fandom really if not a constant barrage of disappointment? Yes, your favourite team will win games — even the very worst do! — but more often than not, said team will fail more often than it succeeds in its ultimate quest of winning a championship. In this way, sports are like life.
To further the life-sports connection, the buzzing hivemind of r/NBA has been running roasts of each and every team in the league. Who doesn’t love an all-in-good-fun roast? What is life, after all, without recurring failure and someone standing nearby telling you that you, or the things you like, suck? Life is a rich tapestry, indeed.
You can probably guess where I’m going with this: yesterday, the Roast of the Toronto Raptors began in earnest on Reddit and the jokes, they were scorching. Check out the chain of abuse here.
“Chris Bosh, a guy who even looks like a fucking dinosaur, left the raptors in free agency”
“Jonas Valanciunas looks like he pours the milk before the cereal”
“How do you stop the Raptors All-Star backcourt? Tell them it's the playoffs”
“Somebody tell your stars that just because it's a "seven-game series" doesn't mean they have to wait until game 7 to show up.”
OK, I’ll stop. This is starting to hit me right in the feels.
Anyway, have a hate read, and if you have your own barbs you like to let loose, have at it in the comments.