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The Weekly Rap, Dec. 12th-18th: It’s Bowl Season

With four games against bad teams this week, the Raps can start bowl season off right.

NBA: Toronto Raptors at Indiana Pacers Brian Spurlock-USA TODAY Sports

Yesterday was the least stressful Sunday I’ve had all year. Fantasy football playoff byes in both my leagues, my roommates have both left for Christmas break and the apartment was finally clean. BUT THEN THE NBA DECIDED TO DROP THIS BOMB ON US:

The best I could come up with was Nick Cannon, but he’s surely too busy hosting “*insert country name*’s Got Talent!”, so here are some of the best guesses from the twittersphere:

Bad gyal Ri-Ri going to Work on Joel while he sips a Shirley Temple? I’m all the way in.

If the NBA pulls this card, they can tell me how my ass tastes.

With a lockout potentially on the table, this would be the most economic option! Since most of the Dubs will be playing in the game, they can take their little pre-game dance circle to the big stage.

In the words of the President Elect, wouldn’t be the best performance, but they’ve got the most heart.

Moving right along to the Raps this week, they have four games on tap in a busy week with jaunts to Philly and Orlando on tap. Since it’s bowl season in college football, I took it upon myself to make sure the Raptors don’t miss out on the fun by making each game they have this week a bowl too.

Dec. 12th: The Greek Freak Yogurt Bowl

Jason Kidd and his Milwaukee Bucks roll into the ACC tonight, and I’ll be in the building watching the greatness of my older brother Giannis Antetokounmpo put up NUMBERS for my fantasy team. The last time these two teams played it was real tight, but the Raps will continue their home court success with a 5-point win.

Dec. 14th: The Liberty Bell Wet Floor Bowl

The Raps gotta be careful in Philly on Wednesday night, as the next phase of the process seems to include hosting an afternoon hockey game and having moisture come through the floor onto the hardwood rendering the surface unplayable. Also Embiid better play in this one as he was held out the last time these two teams hooked up, and watching Embiid vs. JV will be the high comedy my Wednesday night needs. Raps will roll after a tight second half.

Dec. 16th: The East Atlanta Santa Zone 6 Bowl

Even though the game is at home, anytime the Hawks are playing I gotta get the Gucci Mane reference in. Is it too much to ask for Gucci to show up at the ACC in a Santa costume? If so, just call me Jakob.

Raps by 15.

Dec. 18th: The Our Roster Doesn’t Fit Like Fat People Trying to Get on Space Mountain at Disney Bowl

On Sunday evening the Raps will be playing the Magic at the Amway Center in Orlando, and besides the reunion with Bismack, there won’t be much beauty in this one. But hey! If Jeff Green chucking mid range jumpers doesn’t tickle your fancy then I don’t know what to tell you.

The Raps should go 4-0 this week, what are your thoughts?