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You do not want Stack’s hands, Joe Warmington

Toronto Sun Columnist Joe Warmington wrote a thing and, well, Jerry Stackhouse didn’t care for it.

TopSpin 2012 - Inside Photo by Jemal Countess/Getty Images

Joe Warmington, Toronto Sun columnist, sentient hat, chief Rob Ford sycophant, and wily Internet savant, wrote a thing the other day. You can read it here. It’s approximately 375 words in length, mostly organized into his standard one-sentence-per-paragraph format.

It is also — and please, brace yourself for this — quite dumb.

But we come here today not to point out Warmington’s dumbness. That part, for any of you who’ve read any of his words over the years in which he’s been writing them, is easy. It should be no surprise that Warmington’s take on recent anthem protests, police brutality, and the thoughts and feelings of professional athletes, including in this case the Raptors Jared Sullinger, is incoherent, silly, and slightly dangerous. (Or, as far as that last charge is concerned, it would be if his writing rose above a Grade 2 level.) Warmington writing a dumb thing in 2016 is just a matter of course in Toronto.

No, we come here today because Jerry Stackhouse, now in his second year with the Raptors organization (and his first as head coach of the 905), has taken issue with Warmington.

In fact, Stack decided this morning to dunk on him:

Let me just say: this is some A+ meme work here, Stack. Kudos.

Unlike what Warmington tried with new Raptor Sullinger — e.g. reach out with a vague, poorly written plea for peace, while also attempting to drag the man — he has stayed largely mum with regards to Stack. (Outside of his usual RTing of any and all things on whatever subject he’s managed to stumble into — including the above tweet.)

Now, get ready to brace yourself again, as the words I am about to write are not often expressed adjacent to the name “Joe Warmington” in any context. Are you braced? Good. Here goes:

This is a wise and prudent course of action from Joe. He does not want Stack’s attention. He does not want Stack’s hands. He does not want Stack.

Just take the L and move on, buddy.