It's New Year's Eve, let's party.
Actually, wait, let's make some resolutions first that we will definitely keep in the year 2016. Actually, wait, let's not. Let's make them for the Toronto Raptors instead. Here are 16 resolutions, one for each player plus the head coach, for the team as it heads into 2016. Come midnight tonight, consider these all in force.
Kyle Lowry resolves to stop arguing with the refs, and to definitely not do anything like this ever again.
DeMar DeRozan resolves to--hold up, don't say another word. Just keep doing what you're doing, DeMar.
DeMarre Carroll resolves to invest in a driver.
My Question to the World: Are Ubers safe Anymore?!?— DeMarre Carroll (@DeMarreCarroll1) December 30, 2015
Luis Scola resolves to... ? This man is perfect.
Jonas Valanciunas resolves to continue listening intently, even when he looks kind of dopey when doing so.
Cory Joseph resolves to maintain his health, please god stay healthy, we need you to stay healthy.
Terrence Ross resolves to stay woke. It's Ross' world y'all, we're just living in it.
Patrick Patterson resolves to say "yes" more--to hugs specifically, and to lip sync karaoke maybe a bit less.
Bismack Biyombo resolves to continue his journey on the Eightfold Path. (You thought I was going to make a hands joke didn't you?)
James Johnson resolves to, I don't know, be properly utilized. There, that shouldn't rock the boat too much.
#Mood. Under-utilized— James Johnson (@IamJJ3) November 26, 2015
Anthony Bennett resolves to keep trying. Sad trombone.
Lucas Nogueira resolves to redouble his efforts to get a movie about his life into production.
Norman Powell resolves to stay frosty. That's all I got, he's a cipher.
Bruno Caboclo resolves to heed the four year timeline. We're fine, that's fine. Just, you know, matter by then please.
Delon Wright resolves to enjoy the time he spends in Mississauga. It's tough, bro. I know.
Dwane Casey resolves to keep it up with the peak dad hat and to always, always have a folksy reference ready. Also, ah what the hell, I hope he resolves to learn my name -- sorry about those things I said about you getting fired, coach!
Happy New Years everybody.