On Court/Off Court - Fun with numbers

with all the talk about an individuals impact on the team and on court/off court numbers, I decided we could have some numbers fun, and perhaps see what they say about this teams and its players. Now I'm no Dhack so don't ask me to fill in numbers to come to potential wins and losses. This is just pure talking out my ass. Have fun with it, hate it or love it. Chances are I don't like you very much anyways.

The rules - I'm only using players who had a decent enough sample size to matter. The cut off was 20% of the available minutes and I choose that because it was easy. Regardless everyone else predominantly sucked (shout out to Rasual Butler who owns the title of tank commander). I do want to give some respect to Jamaal Magloire though, who would have otherwise had the biggest positive impact on the team (the CRTC made me say that)

So the players we are using are: Bargnani, Derozan, Bayless, Barbossa, Calderon, James Johnson, Amir Johnson, Kleiza, Ed Davis, Aaron Gray and Gary Forbes.

(Information from Using per 100 possessions. Not responsible for inaccurate 
information. Personal opinions may be infuriating.)

Everyone Sucked

Suprise! Who would have thought a team that finished near the bottom of the league and was intentionally tanking (re: Rasaul Butler) would have sucked? But just how much did they suck? Well everyone had a net negative on-court production. Ok well that doesn't actually tell us how much they sucked, but rather that the majority of the team was a bunch of losers and they brought a handful of positives players down.

Who was the best loser? Amir Johnson (-0.5). In fact he was so awesome he almost managed to squeak out a neutral result.

Honorable mention : Linas Kleiza (-1.4) un-fucking believable

Who was the biggest loser? Aaron Gray (-9.3) whose beautiful rolling locks are apparently more useful than the rest of him.

Honorable mention: Ed Davis (-8.8) suprising considering the range on his sweet sweet jumper.

*numbers: on court offense - on court defense

Casey's Boys

Fun fact. This team went from the worst defensive team in the league (2 years running... eat that Don Nelson) to 14th. And how did that happen? Probably because of the lock out shortened season and 10 teams chasing Anthony Davis. Did I say that out loud? What I'm supposed to say is Coach Casey. And boy was he privileged. He had 4 net positive defenders to work with. Let me repeat that. 4. One more time 4. I want you all to understand this. On a list of the 11 most played players, on a team that made one of the greatest defensive improvements in the league, 4 of them were positive defenders.

Who owned the house? Amir Johnson (-3.2), yes that negative is actually a good thing for once.

Honorable mention: Linas Kleiza (-2.8). un-fucking believable

Who shat in Amir's house? Jose Calderon (+6.9). In fairness, his digestive system has never adjusted to poutine

Honorable mention: pretty much the rest of the team. But Gray (+4.3) seems to have gotten lost in the majesty of his Bieber cut and forgot who his teammates were [Quick reminder: Jose (+6.9), Bayless (+3.6), Derozan (+3.5), Bargnani (+3.1), Barbossa (+1.5) and Ed Davis (+0.9)]

*numbers : on court defense per 100 poss. - off court defense per 100 poss. 

Classic Colangelos

A yes! The players we Raptor fans know best. The guys who can put the ball in the hoop and don't need to worry about anything else because points result in job security. Not suprisingly the list of positive net offensive players is bigger than positive defensive players (or maybe that should be suprising as the Raps had a 29th ranked offense last year). Great part of this list? the best offensive players also stand firmly near the bottom of the worst defensive players (excluding ofcourse Aaron Gray who couldn't do anything right and is now lined up for a 2 year contract)

Who 'earned' MLSEs money? DeMar Derozan (+6.6). Finally we hear a core players name for doing something positive. Honestly that happened a lot quicker than I expected.

Honorable Mention : Bayless (+5.9). Under normal conditions being the 2nd best offensive player on the team while also being the third worst defender guarantees you a hefty long term contract. Right place at the wrong time I guess.

Who did the 'only thing you have to do right' wrong? Ed Davis (-7.7) He didn't just take this spot but he made sure he earned it with a classic lack of effort and probably pounds of marijuana

Honorable Mention: James Johnson (-2.9) Guess who sold Ed the weed?

*numbers: on court offense per 100 poss. - off court offense per 100 poss.

Fields Disease

Absolutely nothing to do with Landry Fields. Rather its (apparently) the rarest disease in the world conviently contracted by twins. And much like the rare disease a Toronto Raptor who was positive on both offense and defense is hard to find. In fact, much like fields disease, there are only 2 .

The sickest: Amir Johnson (offense: +4.2, defense: -3.2) I sure as hell hope whatever he's got is contagious.

Honorable Mention : Linas Kleiza (offense: +1.7, defense -2.8) un-fucking believable

The Least Useless Awards

Well here we are. The list of the least useless Raptors. I'm going to put so much effort into this one I'm going to list the top 5 guys (and you can guess at the worst 5 because I'm tired of looking up stats for shitty players. Spoiler alert: Aaron Gray owned it)

#1 - Amir Johnson (+7.5) - not only was this guy the team MVP he was also the team DPoY. I'm glad he only played 24 minutes a game, is a possible amnesty candidate, and seen as the back up big man on this team. The Raptors playing their most productive player while having universal fan support would be totally ass-backward. In fact it might even lead to some level of success which would suck for a cynic like me.

#2 - Linas Kleiza (+4.5) - seriously this is just un-fucking believable. Maybe I don't take him seriously enough because his Dirty South/Lithuanian accent makes me laugh every single time. Wins the 6th man award by default.

#3 - DeMar DeRozan (+3.1) - Raptors offensive player of the year. God knows where he would have finished if it wasn't for the total amount of man hours lost to injuries (and tank related issues of course ). Very rare positive statistical results for DeMar, he needs to take a bow or take off his dress.

#4 - Jerryd Bayless (+2.3) - If Morley could actually concieve a world where Dwight Howard wasn't coming to Houston I guarantee Bayless walks into a 5 year 50 million dollar contract. Instead the 4th 'best' (using that loosely) player on this team ended up making peanuts on a real team.

#5 - Andrea Bargnani (+2.2) - guarantee his fan boys were up in arms to this point with so little mention of him. Finally some relief. Then the realization hits that he isn't ranked as the best player on this team and Amir wiped the floor with him. Now they are pissed again. "Stats are useless"!

Numbers: net on/off court per 100 poss

Throw A Pastore Bergamasco A Bone

If you know what I'm referring to you are either a fan boy or know how to use google (don't waste your time its just an Italian dog breed). What am i getting at? The teams most clutch player - Andrea Bargnani (+5.8) who apparently decided the most useful time for him to use his jump shot was near the end of the game (unfortunately he seems to believe every possession is near the end of game)

Honorable mention : Forbes (+4.8) But seriously does anyone care? Didn't think so.

Least Clutch? I don't care what the stats say this wins it - Link

My Crystal Ball Says.....

Given that we know of the additions to the team (JV, Lowry, Ross, Fields) and how great statistics are at predicting the future (cough), with the goal of sucking as least as possible (yeah mediocrity!!), next years starting line-ups should be (starter/back up):

C - Jonas/Gray

PF - Amir/Bargnani

SF - Fields/Kleiza

SG - Derozan/Ross

PG - Lowry/Jose

A few statistical assumptions were made:

- Field's and Lowry's superior on/off court production over Kleiza and Jose is predictive to this year

- Jonas beats out Gray as the starter (eventually)

Continuing off season goals:

Plan A - another C. Pretty imperative otherwise the Raps have to then play Big Bieber or run a three big man rotation where Jonas doesn't get into foul trouble. (Gray + Ed Davis for Kwame Brown anyone?)

Plan B - JJ Redick so we can white wash the bench.

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