We just got Colangelowned

First I have to give credit to Mik and Mas for the great new term. I, without any permission, stole it and plan to use it often until it feels like it was I who actually came up with it. Suckers.

A few weeks into the 2010/11 season something dawned on Brian Colangelo and MLSE. That the Toronto Raptors were not a good enough team to compete at a high level in the NBA and they would have to rebuild. Its probably a situation that should have been self evident the day Chris Bosh refused a contract extension. Its probably a situation that should have been self evident the day Hedo 'balled' his way to the hearts (or colons) of Raptor fans. Its probably a situation that should have been self evident the day Jermaine O'neal and the theoritical triple towers toppled.

Yet it wasn't. But as people say, better late than never.

It has been approx. one and a half NBA seasons since the day a 'rebuild' was declared. And guess what? Its over. Yes ladies and gentleman your Toronto Raptors have rebuilt an NBA team in 1 offseason, 1 draft, and 2 trade deadlines. No joke:

" But we’re past rebuilding, we’re now in the building phase." - Brian Colangelo

I'm pretty sure its a new NBA record.

I know what you are asking yourself..... how does that work? Most teams spend years tearing down their roster, adding young players via the draft and making moves to find the right mix of talent. Well those teams don't have Brian Colangelo now do they? When a team gets Colangelowned this is how your rebuild works.

1) a couple draft picks that we assume will be top notch talent because we assume the GM is amazing at drafting. Witnessing actual on court performance is hardly important nor a step towards any meaningful success.

2) keep the core of the team pretty much the same. Sure they were all part of that team that 'wasn't good enough'... but that was a season and a half ago. Its pretty much assumed that Linas Kleiza, Jose Calderon, Andrea Bargnani, Amir Johnson, Demar Derozan and Ed Davis are better than last year... so we can assume they'll be better in coming years to.

3) 13 games is more than plenty to identify your Franchise player. Why waste time with getting a reasonable sample size or comparing it to his historical work? That takes time and effort and you aren't breaking records by doing that.

"but how we fit together as a unit, what needs we have, what guys can do with him (Bargnani) in the lineup, what are our weakness with him. All of those things matter" - Coach Casey

(And yet there were some who doubted me when I said Casey was brought in specifically for Bargnani - you crazy cats!)

4) start adding veterans. Thats right, add age. Why you ask? Well we are already assuming the young guys will be good enough... so I ask you: why not?

"I don’t think we can bring in a lot of young guys in next season and expect to make the big steps that we want to make next year. I think we’ll be looking for experienced guys, guys who are tough, battle tested and been through the wars...." - Coach Casey

5) Cap space. One of the sure signs you have rebuilt a team is by having Cap Space. Lots of it to. Don't waste it on assets like trading for bad contracts to go along with additional picks or quality young players. You NEED that space.

i) because you never know when you'll be ready to give Derozan a 12 mil a year contract extension.

ii) you can make a great game of pretending to sign free agents with your new BCF (best crony forever) Ed Stefanski.

6) any missing pieces are easily added through trades, and since you find making trades a lot of fun and they have historically ALWAYS worked out in your favour you are therefore very good at making them.

I thought it may be important to add some FAQ as I'm sure some people are still a bit confused:

Q: What about the fan base who expected the team to rebuild through the draft?

A: well here is the great thing about being the GM of a NBA franchise. You have sycophants who you can use to drop well timed and placed comments and help reassure (or confuse - either works) the fan base

"...since the draft is arguably the smallest part of building a successful team...." - Doug Smith

Q. What happens if your franchise player doesn't turn out to be a franchise player?

A. Blame him. After all you tried everything you could so it must be his fault for not being good enough

Q. What happens if the draft picks don't turn out?

A. You just keep playing them. Guarantee them playing time, a significant role and a brand new contract. If this still isn't working keep replacing the coach. Simply put there is NO POSSIBLE WAY part of your plan won't be successful so in the long run they will work out.

Q: What happens if it doesn't lead to success but rather a mediocre team?

A: This has been tried in numerous fantasy keeper leagues and it worked out great. 'Bucsareawesome' and 'X_smiley_13' never saw what hit them! Once they are active again we'll be up a smooth 20 bucks

Q. Wasn't something similar already tried once and it didn't work out?

A. That was tried 'on paper'. That doesn't count.

Q. Haven't other small market and less attractive markets made full use of the draft and then used trades and free agency for filler, as opposed to the big markets who are able to use free agency and trades (thanks to high payrolls) more effectively

A. Seriously where did we find the bonehead to ask these questions? Those big market teams make a lot of money so they are the best. And since BC is the best, it only makes sense he can do the same.

Yes Raptor fans we just got Colangelowned again. And for those doubters out there, we have 5 mil reasons each year to prove its effectiveness. Hopefully, if we are all lucky enough, we can all get Colangelowned again in about 5 years!

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