A successful sports team name has some major elements, and some lesser ones.

Major: (1) Have a clearcut association with the team's city (Boston Celtics, New York Knickerbockers, Houston Rockets)

(2) Be timeless and historical, if possible (Dallas Mavericks)

(3) Be easy to pronounce (Milwaukee Bucks)

(4) Conjure a mental image (Chicago Bulls)

Minor: (1) Be suggestive of a colour scheme (San Antonio Spurs)

(2) Be alliterative (Boston Bruins)

And here are some no-no names, with commentary:

(1) Miami HEAT - how do you root for a HEAT? Ergo, no collective nouns (Orlando Magic? - I'll pass)

(2) Utah Jazz - A carryover name from their previous incarnation in New Orleans, et voila! the worst team name in sports. Carryover is why you have the Los Angeles Lakers, and the Memphis Grizzlies...it seems only the NBA insists on this "keep the name when the team moves" rule, and I don't know why. The Atlanta Thrashers moved to Winnipeg and became the Jets, and hockey doesn't seem to have suffered.

(3) Anaheim Ducks - That's just silly, like the Washington Wizards

(4) Philadelphia 76ers, San Francisco 49ers - I'm not cheering for a year, guys!

So where does that leave the Toronto Raptors? By my standards, the team name is a failure. An extinct dinosaur, made famous for 15 minutes by "Jurassic Park", with no connection to Toronto or even Canada. These beasts were probably shades of gray - hey, there's a terrific colour scheme waiting to happen!

I'm at the Raptors season-seat-holders' event tonight at the ROM. Maybe I'll find Colangelo and bend his ear. How about the Toronto Towers? Suggestions welcome.